Good morning, Abi and John.
I want to share with the two of you one of my deepest and most earnest wishes - mainly because it involves the two of you. No, it's completely ABOUT the two of you.
It's simple. I wish, perhaps more than any other wish, that your time together right now, be spent filling each other's hearts, pouring out love and affection, and letting yourselves bathe in the love of the other. Whether it be in your daily routine, in your special moments, when you're making plans or doing projects.. .anytime really.
I know that the memories the two of you are making together today, right at this moment, good or bad, are almost certain to be among the most powerful and enduring memories of your lives.
I hope to be able to help make them worthy of the central place they will take.
Perhaps by taking things off of your plates. Perhaps by helping to alleviate some of the financial pressure. Perhaps by doing a crab boil or taking boat rides. Perhaps by opening up our home, and helping to make it as much your home as it is ours. Perhaps by simply giving you space. I don't know, but I do want you both to know there is no ask too great if it helps to the two of you to fill each other's heart to overflowing.
Because that's the main thing.
I love you, Abi. I love you, John.
From John Mayer
to me, Abi, Marcia
Thank you for your very kind, thoughtful note. There are several things that came to my mind as I read this, which I am struggling to organize coherently into a response, so I am just going to list them out.
- First, I also want that for Abi and me. I don't say this to imply that we are not currently spending any time together in a fulfilling and meaningful way - that couldn't be farther from how I feel - but because I want to protect this time together from the unavoidable logistics and stress of finances, doctor's appointments, moving, etc.
- I also want you both to have meaningful time with your daughter. Both one on one and together. Anything I can do to ensure that this continues to happen, please let me know. As you said, no ask is too big (except for a million dollars).
- I want to continue to spend meaningful time with all of you together as a family. I feel very fortunate for the fulfillment and joy that has shone brightly through the cloudiness of the last few months with you three, and I want to ensure this time together is protected. From our trips, to our family dinners, I want to continue exploring and discovering together what it is we find most important in life.
- Perhaps the main thing that came to mind while reading your note is how much you both already ARE helping Abi and me. Financially, with dinner, household chores (which is huge for me), with bills and finances, by letting us pretend we own a great dog from time to time without the stress of actually owning a dog, with trips, big and small, and with generously opening your home to us. As well as with setting up appointments to realtors on our behalf :).
In my desire to spend time with Abi and you both, that isn't filled with the tedium and heaviness of our situation, I will continue to let you block and tackle for us when we need it, as I hope you will allow me to do for you, when needed. And please, call me out if it ever appears that my pride is preventing me from asking for help, which I hope it won't. I am so grateful for all of you. I will also be sure to let you know if space is what is needed. But Abi is far more likely to feel that before I ever will!
I am sorry we fought in front of you last night. I am sure there are more tiffs to come, sparked by nothing more than frustration, but I think the fact that we are fighting about something as unimportant as where our clothes will be stored only goes to show how fully supported Abi and I really are. How fortunate we are to have such a great family and to be constantly reminded of it.
Love you all,
PS I will accept you offer for a crab boil and boat ride, whether Abi wants it or not :)